Mum Life

Flip de Flop

Tell us about your favorite pair of shoes, and where they’ve taken you.

I was never one to wear flip flops very often, when I was expecting my first born, my feet like most expectant mothers became really swollen. I would struggle to wear any of my shoes, except the pair of flip flops I had, had for years. I pretty much wore them for the next two years, due to becoming pregnant again 5 months after my son was born. It would be cold weather and I would be dressed up in warm clothes with my scarf and still have them on- I was quite sad when they eventually gave up after having my girls- almost like they were a comfort blanket. Of all the shoes I have ever worn – these are definitely etched in my memory.

That and a pair of skyscraper red heels I had when I was younger – which made my legs look long and amazing, but that’s another story….

Pass me the wine…

I love my children more than anything in the world, but today has been a test. I feel like it is maybe a full moon or something as everything that could have gone wrong or anything that was planned just went out of the window.

Belle deciding to go to bed at midnight last night, meant she was not happy about an early wakeup call to go out this morning. so much so that whilst being handed her juice she decided to have a paddy and squeeze the carton down her clothes for the day. my partner then dropped his breakfast on the floor while trying to help Mimi, then spilled a fresh cup of coffee all over the kitchen while trying to wrestle the children out the door.

Cue Mimi throwing up all over herself in the car whilst on the way to a planned activity (any advice about car sickness for a toddler?) Then picking up Thomas, who had many meltdowns before dinner due to being so tired. So here I am at 9pm drink in hand and now trying to get some work done.

yes, I will admit I have counted down the hours to bedtime today – I have plastered a fake grin over my face and put on my Butlins blue coat to get through the day because sometimes being a mum is bloody hard work and sucks.

I can hear the cries now of, you can’t say that, and I say yes I bloody can!! I see all the posts on social media about how wonderful my children are and all the smiling photos of day trips out etc.

however, there is a story behind each photo, usually 10 tantrums, 2 outfit changes, several arguments, bribing a small person with something they want, and a mutter of “fuck this” under a mum’s breath. wrestling to get everyone out of the house, trying to avoid a dangerous nap, cooking a dinner only to be destroyed worse than a Gordon Ramsey put down by your own creation when they push it away and say yuck.

my point to this blog is to say to all you parents out there – it is ok to say it’s been a tough day, and it’s ok to not like your child for parts of it as well. This doesn’t mean you ever stop loving them nor does it mean you are a bad parent.

its also ok too treat yourself too a glass of wine or a hot bath at the end of the night….

It’s been a while….

It’s been a while hasn’t it? I can’t even remember when I last posted a blog.

A lot has happened over the last few months, Christmas, all my children having birthdays – feels surreal that they are now 2 and 3, time seems too be moving so fast and whilst I love watching them evolve and grow sometimes I wish time could just slow down for a bit.

Perhaps the biggest and most saddest event too happen over the last few months is the loss of my so very much loved big brother.

Friday 9th December – a day etched in my mind forever, no one is prepared for being taken into that little family room in a hospital, and my stomach instantly dropped as I knew what it meant. Grief is a tricky thing, some days I feel fine others just the slightest thing will tip into a flood of tears. Usually remembering a memory or seeing something that I so wish I could tell him. The dreams are the hardest, he appears in them most nights and they feel so real.

There is no timescale for grief, no manual on how you are supposed to deal with the pain.

What I want too say too anyone feeling this pain today, talk to people, remember happy times, share stories and all the good and bad times. They will live on in you.

You see what they want you to see….

We all know we shouldn’t compare ourselves as parents, or compare our children to others. We know this, we say it to ourselves on a daily basis. We remind ourselves that social media is just a moment in time or something set up to be viral worthy: Posing ourselves and our children in this wonderful happy picture – for example a day out, all smiles for the camera, everything’s wonderful, reality: you’ve been up since the crack of a sparrows fart preparing everything, your children have had 3/4 meltdowns before you’ve even left the house, bargained with a toddler to eat all their breakfast/put suncream/shoes etc on….you’ve hidden in the toilet and had a small cry, walked around the house 5 times before you left to make sure you have everything, probably changed your clothes, due to milk/sick/food stains.

Yet you’ve taken the perfect picture – a picture where you look like you completely have your shit together and are nailing this parenthood lark. To the outside world, to the mum that is having the worst day – in creeps this wave of envy, and the anxious thought of why can’t I do this, am I not a good mother. Am I not good enough.

I’ve done it, sat and watched these gleaming homes, immaculate mums, and thought why I am not like this.

So the point to the ramble is – I want you to remember and I’m saying this to myself too! What You See On Social Media isn’t Real! Stop comparing yourself, STOP thinking you aren’t good enough. You are smashing motherhood, so what if your home isn’t immaculate- it’s home, it’s lived in, it shows a family, children playing and having fun, and most importantly creating memories.

Remember it’s ok to take a break from social media if you are struggling, it’s ok to mute that person for a while if you can’t deal with what they are posting, it’s ok to have a cry, have a gin, have 5 minutes hiding in the bathroom to yourself. It’s ok to admit that you are struggling. Talk, talk to other mums, dads etc you’ll probably find that they are struggling just as much as you at times.

❤️

On the double Thomas…

Weekend Fun!!

On Saturday we went to the Army day on our local green- first time it had returned in 2 years due to covid. I was so excited to take Thomas as he loved cars – we spend a lot of time watching them at home, particularly Blaze and Ricky Zoom.

The sun was shining, there was a gentle breeze and the place was bustling. I love days like this, free events and only a little money needed- especially with how tight everyone is feeling it at the moment.

I also love the great nostalgia to these events – watching the Spitfires flying display early in the morning, then watching the Hurricane fly by at the end of the event.

DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME KIDS

Thomas loved the stunt team – Anyone has a toddler, knows that they have the attention span of a goldfish – but he actually sat there and watched the whole thing, including a man who set himself on fire (yes you read that right) and jumped 60ft. Each to there own and it was amazing to watch, not sure it would be something I would do.

I love days like this – I love showing my children things that I went too when I was younger, they are memories that have lasted me a life time and I’m hoping one day they will be for them too.

Enjoy the rest of the weekend everyone

xXx

Little introduction to us!

So this blog has taken a year in the making to actually come to life. Mainly because looking after 3 small children takes up a lot of time and also because I wanted to feel comfortable about opening up to everyone.

I wanted to start by showing off my family.

One of mine and Matts first photos just a few years ago – a weekend away in London – so fresh faced, no bags under the eyes and little responsibility. Matt is my rock and my best friend.

Thomas at just a few hours old. The little boy who made me a mum. Experiencing a love that I had never felt before.

My twin girlies Amelia and Isabelle, we found out when Thomas was 5 months old that we were expecting twins- a complete shock and it took a while to get our heads around it.

4 years together and 3 beautifully small people made. Our relationship has been a bit of a whirlwind but I just knew when I met Matt that he was the one.