It’s been a while….

It’s been a while hasn’t it? I can’t even remember when I last posted a blog.

A lot has happened over the last few months, Christmas, all my children having birthdays – feels surreal that they are now 2 and 3, time seems too be moving so fast and whilst I love watching them evolve and grow sometimes I wish time could just slow down for a bit.

Perhaps the biggest and most saddest event too happen over the last few months is the loss of my so very much loved big brother.

Friday 9th December – a day etched in my mind forever, no one is prepared for being taken into that little family room in a hospital, and my stomach instantly dropped as I knew what it meant. Grief is a tricky thing, some days I feel fine others just the slightest thing will tip into a flood of tears. Usually remembering a memory or seeing something that I so wish I could tell him. The dreams are the hardest, he appears in them most nights and they feel so real.

There is no timescale for grief, no manual on how you are supposed to deal with the pain.

What I want too say too anyone feeling this pain today, talk to people, remember happy times, share stories and all the good and bad times. They will live on in you.